It is the mind’s job to incessantly search for Safety. It just happens that the Safety it is seeking does not exist. Simply. Plainly. (We’re skipping a LOT here, so just take this part softly as a hypothesis. “The Safety that the mind is incessantly searching for does not exist.”) Even so, since we so often live in so much fear, in the presence of so much fear, that Safety that the mind looks for feels inordinately important. And so we listen to mind as a king. We are subject to its rule.
We even take it when it abuses us, knocks us around a bit, because, “At least it keeps us safe- or tries to!” In this world, that’s hard.
In the unpredictable nature of this context, how could we not defend such a father?
So what if he gets a little drunk and f*cks up sometimes. Okay, so he’s a bit delusional. He is sometimes wrong about what he thought was going down, or should be happening when actually something or someone else was offering another option. He means well. He is trying to keep us safe.
So even the idea that there is something more powerful than the Daddy-mind can be confusing and threatening to what has been. The idea of accessing that which is more powerful, and indeed, stepping into Real Life, or True Living, is horrifying if it means releasing the grip on the seemingly powerful (even though sometimes forceful and scary, himself) Father who’s had a vice grip on our identities, futures, comfort, survival, all this time.
Or made us Think he does.
This process of dispelling its myth, becoming free from mind’s rule- or, as it turns out, letting go of our grip on it!- the process of retrieving power, becoming master over it,* is painful and friggin scary! So scary, because if we don’t listen to him, then what? He who is the holder of my worth, my story, my love, my protection, my success, my boundaries, my fun! If we don’t listen to him, then “Who am I? And if I don’t listen to him, then WHO?” What will we listen to? Just the idea of letting go of he as master lets in all the scary world he was and always is trying to protect us from and help us to control, battle and rule! It is a process like leaving the alcoholic father’s rule.
It is coming into a power so great, one that we cannot comprehend because Mind for so long has said, “No one will ever love you and take care of you better than me.”
It’s not true. He wasn’t lying. It simply is that he could not have known and cannot know the love and power that is truth of Reality, of Pure Present Consciousness, of Here- of Heart. It is not within his domain to know. Expecting him to know is like asking a computer to fall in love. It’s not in his business. It is yours.’
It is for YOU to discover your Self. And so we continually disengage from mind…
So that we can come back to him- In strength. And give him true LOVE for the first time. Until now you were too much always in fear to do so. And he had so much made you think that love wasn’t real! Now in presence, now that you’ve left and returned in love-
See how he melts… and then remembers again, the past, gets caught up in fear, acting out. Perhaps, in his fear, attempting to invalidate the truth that has just been experienced. And, his fear is not yours.’
You can just keep loving him from the center of being.
From the strength, steadiness, and Joy of that seat.
Do not leave it.